Postpartum Blues are Real!!
Every woman imagines motherhood as a classic picture of smiling mom with her cute baby & when she can’t feel like that, it makes her doubt herself. Its nothing but normal to feel overwhelmed post delivery and not feel like the classical portrait mom. But when this feeling goes beyond a threshold and the feeling of anxiety and sadness doesn't go away , its called Postpartum blues. Sadly if it is not addressed, it leads to Postpartum depression.
I did not experience PPD but surely did experience Postpartum Blues. The first month after delivery was the hardest and the fourth trimester really did blow my mind out of proportion.
My Story
I gave birth by C Section after 8 hours of induced pain & I was given my bub to breastfeed after 2 days. The supply wasn’t established and I had to feed her formula while trying to breastfeed. The third day the lactation consultant came and helped my bub establish latch. All this was so new for me and I was trying to be patient and do what was best for my baby.
Two days after coming home we noticed that bub seemed to be more yellow in complexion and so we immediately went to the hospital to find out if her bilirubin levels shot up. They were actually high and the first thing the nurse in the nursery said was that baby did not get enough of feed and that might have increased her jaundice. I was breast-feeding her every two hours since we got home even despite the pain in C section stitches and yet I was not enough for my baby. This feeling made my heart drop in a deep abyss.
WHERE DID I GO SO WRONG?
I did everything I researched and was advised to do, still I felt like it was my fault my baby had to be admitted for light therapy to reduce jaundice. The same day I came down with fever due to a stomach infection and was admitted since fever after C section can lead to complications. Those two days in hospital I felt terrible coz I was not feeding my bub and she had now totally gone on formula feed. She recovered and was doing good but the feeling that I might have fed her lesser while at home, brought a deep pain to me.
I resumed feeding her after getting home but the surging hormones and tired mind did not help me feel better. I constantly kept doubting myself and obsessed about feeding my baby adequately. I felt robbed of the joy moms generally feel after giving birth.
After a month things started getting better physically, but psychologically I felt low and would smile for just the sake of it. I was eating well and trying to rest as well but nothing seemed to help. When I went for a regular gynae check up and discussed this with my doctor , she advised me and my husband to get me a change of scenario and try and get back to things we used to do before delivery. She said if not taken care of it may lead to depression. The best thing was we identified the issue early on and actually making some lifestyle changes and following a positive approach helped me. At this time my baby was about 6 weeks old, I started enjoying my time with her and was actually able to wean her off formula. Her jaundice got better and she gained good weight. Finally I started feeling like myself.
Why am I sharing this?
The reason I am sharing my experience is because many a times, you don’t need reasons to feel these postpartum blues. The hormonal surge and imbalance is capable enough to do it and its best to discuss any feeling of sadness or unhappiness with your partner and doctor. The doctors can identify the level of this anxiety and treat it accordingly.
I also joined a moms group made by Babycenter and it was a huge savior for me. My daughter will be 4 years old next month and am still part of the group. All those moms have become friends and am sure we will stay connected for life.
An Instagram post on the same message to create awareness
We read a lot about Postpartum Depression (PPD) but we still are ignorant about it because not many people close to us share about it since the society still treats Depression as a Stigma. Lets make sure we spread the word to our friends and relatives who are expecting and increase awareness about this. It breaks my heart every time I read a news about a new mother losing her life to PPD. Lets stop this stigma right now and make sure we do our part by sharing our stories and experiences with new parents so they know what they are feeling is common and that it can be treated.